


Chimichangas, Pancakes, and Oops.

by MessofaNess



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, wade wilson - Fandom
Genre: Blood, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool stabbing people, F/M, Guns, I will tag more for each chapter, Knives, Not quite.. yeah, This is my first posting, Wish me luck, mild violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessofaNess/pseuds/MessofaNess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Deadpool meets his player? Well hopefully scandalous things or else it would be no fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Lala To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Notes at the end.

The smell of bad laundry and burnt food was what caused her to wake up. She hadn't expected this, earlier she had been cleaning her house and when she sat down to play games it smelt of cleaner. Not… This. This place smelt dirty. It wasn't just the burnt smell, but the smell of wet furniture and bad milk. She sat up slowly rubbing her face slowly.

 

“You’re up!” A voice came from rather close. “We thought that you were never going to wake up.”

 _‘He did, I thought you were a figment of our imagination.’_ A second voice sounded.

 **‘Maybe you did.’** A third one chimed.

 

“Who the hell are you three?” She rubbed at her face before sitting up and looking to where the voices were coming from.

 

Instead of seeing three men sitting in the chair next to the couch there was only one. She rubbed her eyes again and sat up further. She had been sure that there was three voices

coming from that area.

 

 _‘Can she hear us!’_ This voice was high and squeaky.

“No you are just voice in my head here to entertain the writers…” The man actually sitting  there, who was wearing a red and black superhero costume.

 **‘She said three...’** The other voice spoke up.

 

“Deadpool…” The girl finally realized who she was speaking to. “That’s not possible… You're a comic book character and you…”

 

_‘Oooh. She must be our player.’_

**‘That makes sense. Are we in her head too?’**

 

“No, not at all.” She pulled her hair back out of her face before letting it fall again. “I can just hear you. This is not happening. I’m just having a dream because I was playing this game before I fell asleep…”

 

Deadpool at this point had gotten up and walked over to her. “Well… I could pinch you to find out.”

 

Staring up at her favorite comic book character the girl didn't know if she should be happy or terrified. She shook her head at his offer and moved away slightly. Letting out a sigh, she reached out and touched his shoulder as if testing he was real.

 

"You're there alright..." She sighed a bit. "So I'm here... Somehow. You're real and I can hear the voices in your head."

 

_'Does that mean she can hear everything we think?'_

**'I don't know. Think of something.'**

 

"Chimichangas, no pancakes, no tacos. And now death." The girl stated outright, not really sure if they were trying to think of just one thing or all different things at once. "I think we're connected through the game."

 

"Right. My game. Which I beat. So you should be back at home replaying." Deadpool waved his hand in a shooing manner.

 

"Except I'm not. So bite me." The girl snapped at him.

 

**'I would like to.'**

 

The girl tried to ignore that comment. She looked to the merc who by this time had wandered off to find some sort if food it seemed. She sat there still a bit stunned at everything that was going on.

 

Standing up she made her way through the area looking at different things. There was a dog there who barely seemed to notice her and was rather focused on its stupid owner.

 

She moved slightly working around the trash and everything. Her hands tensed at her side as she moved around. She had lost track of Deadpool and was now just investigating his home. It hadn’t changed much since she had finished the game, only seemed much dirtier. She kicked trash out of the way thoroughly shocked at all of this. She just didn’t know how to handle living with her favorite comic book hero.

 

Deadpool had been minding his own business, scratching away at his nuts when this girl had come flying out of the tv. He had caught her, well he didn't have a choice, and looked down at her hard. She looked a lot like an angel with the way she was sleeping. He picked her up carefully and started to set her on his couch. It was then that he realized that this was mostly likely one of the many people who had played his game.

 

Of course when he had pressed the matter onto his game he never thought it would land him an angel in his lap, literally. He watched her as she slept, her shocking blonde hair occasionally falling into her face. Her noticed her full lips and almond shaped eyes, of course this was only because he found himself continually staring.

 

**‘Should we wake her up?’**

“Nah, she'll just scream and run away because of our ugly face.” He comment scratching his cheek through the mask.

 

 _‘But what if she’s nice!’_ The other voice objected to the thought of her leaving.

“Our ugly outweighs any nice.” He murmured again tugging down hard on the mask as if making sure it was completely down with no chance of being pulled up.

 

They went silent then, sitting with his leg over the arm so that his nuts were easy for scratching, because after all, what else did he have to do. He couldn’t leave, after all what would happen if she woke up and mess with his perfectly placed things? That just could not be. All of his trash was perfectly place.

 

When she began to stir he felt himself become rather nervous. After all, it had been a long time since he spent much time with someone other than the boxes and the grump that was Logan. Their brief conversation made him hungry so he quickly made his way towards the kitchen.

 

As she heard him banging around in the kitchen she waded through the trash to find him looking through the kitchen. She frowned at the Deadpool leaning against the door way, which she almost found nerve wracking, after all she had seen the rest of the place.

 

“Uh… Deadpool…” She spoke up not sure if she could call him that.

 

The masked face pop out from behind a door. “Oh you can walk, that’s good. Now walk into the T.V. and play my game again.” He was deliberately trying to push her away.

 

“Would if I knew how. After all… This place reeks.” She crossed her arms further squeezing herself in a comforting manner. “Is there any food here at all?”

 

 _‘We don’t think so. After all we don't eat very healthy things.’_ She heard the voice that she assumed was the one depicted as the screw ball in his game.

 

“Right… But you could eat poison and not worry about it.” She sighed and bit her bottom lip. “Tell you what, why don’t you take me to buy food, and I will make something for you.”

 

“Why would we do that? I don’t have to take care of you.” He grumbled before going back to what he was doing.

 

 _‘After all we didn't knock you up.’_  The screw ball spoke up again.

 

“Right, right…” She wondered about Ellie and if he knew of her.

 

 **‘Of course we know about her.’** The other spoke up and she frowned to herself.

 

“So you can hear me.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment. “Well here, this is a better deal. I will clean the house, you don’t have to lift a finger, and once that is done we can go shopping…”

 

There was a pause and Deadpool looked down at her from behind the door again. “The whole house… What is your name?”

 

“Ah... “ She bit her bottom lip. “Ciela, or Sei for short.”

 

“I’ll call you Lala.” Deadpool smirked from behind his mask.

 

 


	2. A Clean House And A Promise Of Food.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long day and an interruption.

After the deal was made Ciela began to clean up the apartment, Deadpool watching her in a wary manner, as if she could do something horrible with all the trash in the room. She would have started at the worse part, but it was all equally terrible. Deciding that it would best to start in the bathroom, and work her way through deciding that the last should be his bedroom, just in case there was anything that Deadpool wanted to hide, or get rid of himself.

 

Carefully, with her foot, she nudged the door open and frowned. Perhaps she was in over her head, but she did make a deal. She noted the black, what she assumed was water, in the tub and frowned even deeper, this was going to be a task.

 

“Uh, Deadpool…” She stuck her head out looking for the smartass.

 

“Hmm? Oh, what do you want?” He grumbled.

 

“Cleaning supplies… And perhaps a full arm gloves…”

 

_“We don’t have those here!”_

 

“I know that. Just go get some. I need them bad.”

 

**“Well aren’t we bossy.”**

 

Ciela rolled her eyes and just grumbled to herself. “Listen. This bathroom is toxic and I can’t clean it without not only supplies but gloves. So please. I am begging Wa-Deadpool… Please. Go get full arm gloves and cleaning supplies. I don’t care how.”

 

If it wasn’t for the mask in the way Ciela would have been sure that he was smirking rather hard. There was a loud pop and smoke filled the room causing her to cough a little. She shook her head at this before walking around the room gathering trash up so that when he came back she could just throw it away.

 

It took a while before Deadpool appeared again arms full of anything she could use. Celia looked at him with a scowl. He dumped it on the floor and put his hands on his hips.

 

“Well you can thank me now!” He announced looking rather proud of himself.

 

Ceila just gave him another look and nodded her head. “Uh sure. Thanks.”  She murmured as she gathered up the supplies putting them into different categories. Taking up the trash bags she started to gather the piles she had already made.

 

_“Someone is a tad ungrateful!”_

 

Deadpool watched her for another moment before waving his hand at her. “Who needs your graditude anyways.” With this he locked himself in the bedroom, away from her.

 

Ceila sighed and shook her head at the mercenary before she tied up the bag she was using. She pulled out another one and began singing to herself softly. When this was done she donned her gloves, which were almost up to her shoulders, gathering other supplies and headed over towards the bathroom.

 

Once again the foul smell hit her nose as she entered the room. She shuddered as she walked up to the bathtub, leaning down to unplug it. There was an awful glug and it started to drain, leaving a black ring around the tub.

 

“Oh dear lord.” She swallowed hard as she pulled her arm back. “I hope there isn’t like some dead body here…”

____________________________________________

 

It took hours of scrubbing, yelling, and a bit of knife throwing before Ceila was finally done with the house. Of course it wasn’t perfect, hell it was barely livable, but it was clean. The kitchen actually almost looked like a kitchen. The only thing she would have to fix would be the cabinets, but that could wait.

 

_“I don’t understand why she had to stab us?”_  Ceila heard the screwball whimpering in the other room.

 

** “ Maybe it’s because you called her a crazy, obsessive bitch.” **

 

“Not my fault she is one.” She heard Wade’s voice as she stood in the kitchen.

 

Ceila walked into the living room and frowned at him. “If you want to eat then I suggest you go get food and stop talking bad about me.”

 

_“Why is she so mean?”_

 

“I’m not mean, I’m just saying.” She suddenly felt a guilt on her shoulder. “Listen, plea-” She was interrupted by the phone ringing.

 

Deadpool picked it up quickly and began talking to someone on the other line. She could hear a masculine voice and knew that it was probably about a job. Without another sound Ceila turned and walked back into the kitchen to see if there was anything she could do.

 

“So this is what happened. Got a call for a job. You go get food, preferably mexican, I go chop someone’s head off, then we meet back here!” Deadpool had burst into the room behind her.

 

“I’ll need money.” Ciela called after him for a moment.

 

“Yeah. That stuff is uh somewhere in the bedroom.”

 

_“In the blow up doll’s mouth!”_

 

Ciela closed her eyes for a moment in embarrassment but just let him go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with me. I hope this is much better than the first.


	3. Money, Blood, and the Big Kaboom.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple grocery trip takes a surprising turn.

It had been hours since Deadpool had left and Ciela walked through the streets trying to find her way to a less sketchy looking store. She had never lived in New York before, much less the Marvel Universe New York. There was no doubt in her mind that if she had lived in this state her whole life she would still be very lost.  
As she roamed the streets she noticed that it wasn’t very well taken care of. It seemed that poverty lived here, but still had no home. Whenever she could she would stop and give someone some of the money she was carrying. She was pretty sure it was somewhere in the range of five thousand and that Deadpool wouldn’t miss it. After all it was in the blow up doll.  
Occasionally the people would look at her as though she were crazy and refuse to take it until she explained herself further. They would still look at her as though she were crazy, but take it. Part of her knew that some of these people would take the money she gave them and go feed their addictions, but she wanted to help anyways.  
Her journey continued and found her on streets that nearly looked okay. They were still rather trashy but this at least it seemed like this trash was less likely to be used as a sleeping area. As she moved over the cracked sidewalk she noticed different little dinky shops. There was a run down looking Chinese food place with the words we deliver in peeling letters on the window.  
“You know… They probably make pretty okay money…” She laughed to herself.  
The next thing that caught her eyes was a voodoo shop. This made her pause, if only for a moment, and stare. She couldn’t find anything in her right mind that might make sense for why there was a voodoo shop around here as well. Then she concluded that it probably made better money than the Chinese food place.  
Turning down a better looking street she spotted a small store, and came to the conclusion that this was the best she was going to get in this area. She crossed the street carefully and lingered outside for a moment longer trying to decide if she actually wanted to go to this place. It was big enough to actually pass for a grocery store, but it still seemed to look a little fishy.  
With a frown she realized that this was her best bet without walking much further, and probably getting lost in this fake New York. Her entrance was signalled with a ding, and this caused the cashier to look to her, nose ring gleaming in the dim light. There was a sigh and the long hair man stood up looking her up and down slowly. Ciela gave a short wave feeling very awkward at the moment.  
“Hello, welcome to Grab & Go. Please don’t shoplift.” The man sighed at that once more and shifted so that he could lean against a different part of the counter, a tattooed hand pushing hair out of his face.  
“That’s bad you have to actually say that…” She commented as she grabbed an arm basket and walked towards the back to look for meat.  
“Its because of this red dude. He will just walk in and walk back out with a bunch of stuff.” The man sighed once more as if he was already bored with the conversation. “But I wasn’t going to stop him, he looked dangerous.”  
“How brave of you.”  
“What?”  
“Oh. Nothing.” Ciela laughed to herself as she found the meat section, her ice blue eyes trailing over the different selection.  
Noticing how terrible the beef looked, she decided that to move onto the chicken. Though it was choices were slim Ciela quickly snapped up two packs and went to the produce. She went through grabbing different things for the meal she was making. It seemed as though she had come to this place on the wrong day, all the produce was almost gone, and she nearly had to give up on a few ingredients. She managed to at least get the basics for the meal and start towards the front.  
When she made it back to the front the man looked as though he saw a ghost. His already pale face looked as though it had never seen blood in it’s whole existence. Ciela frowned deeply as she stood there looking at him. She stepped forward slowly wanting to ask what was wrong when she felt a hard arm grab her from behind. She let out a cry as the basket dropped from her arms and the man pulled her back further.  
“MONEY NOW.” He screamed, putting a gun against her temple, hand shaking as he did so.  
Ciela froze and looked to the man behind the counter, slowly she mouthed the words nine-one-one. With a frightened look on his face the man moved towards the cash register to give the man what he wanted ignoring her. Ciela mouthed it again and he shook his head quickly which made the gun wielder shake her hard.  
“Don’t be stupid! I’m not afraid to shoot you!” His voice was shaking just as hard as his hand now knowing that he might actually have to kill the woman he held.  
“Y-You don’t have to do that..” Ciela’s voice caught in her breath as she stood there.  
“SHUT U-”  
The man was interrupted by the crackpot mercenary walking in the door covered in blood, and large holes in his suit revealing the cancered skin beneath. He would have completely ignored everything going on around him if it would have been for the cashier’s groan. Deadpool looked at him then where he was staring.  
“Oh! Lala!” He clapped before noticing the gun at her head. “That’s not okay.”  
_“He’s gonna shoot our maid!”_  
The man clutched onto Ciela tight and pressed the gun to her head harder. “Y-You freak!” He cried out beginning to tremble all over.  
“Oh that’s uncalled for.” Deadpool put his hands on his hips.  
_“Yeah. We have feelings too!”_  
**“Even if you can’t hear us…”**  
“Listen here! You get me the money and you can have her back…” He was barely able to speak at this moment.  
Deadpool stepped towards the man, an angry look on his mask. “You don’t tell me what to do. I do the shooting around here.”  
“Sto-Stop or I shoot her.” The gunman stepped backwards slowly dragging Ciela with him.  
Not paying attention to the warning the warning Deadpool stepped forward once more. Ciela could hear the click as the man’s shaking fingers clamped down on the trigger. It felt as it took hours for the bullet to reach her head but when it did the sound of it hitting her skull was like a minor explosion. She went limp in the gunman’s arms and the last thing she saw was Deadpool pulling his swords and running forward. Then black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I just recently got busy with work, but I am trying. Please enjoy.


	4. To Make a Hangover Blush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!

_Ka-thump_

_Ka-thump_

_KA-THUMP_

**Ow.**

All she knew was that it sounded as though someone was doing construction on her skull. There was cracking, grinding and hammering all going on while she tried to lay there. Wanting to get up now she tried to stretch out but not a single part of her moved. She felt a spike of panic as she tried to move her arms.

_Tch_

_Tch_

_Tch_

**_CRA-ACK_ **

Something felt like it snapped into place, making her forget her panic from before.

“Rise and shine…” That voice was familiar and so far away it seemed like a whisper.

_‘Yeah! That way they don’t chop you up in the morgue!’_ Screwball. That was the only thing that came to mind when she heard that voice.

She could feel hand on her shoulders shaking her and her eyes finally lulled open, just not of her control. “Lala!” A red faced man yelled up to her. “You’re not dead!”

She wanted so badly to smack him for yelling so loud but as she went to move her arm all she could do was twitch her fingers. A panic ran through her chest but she could do nothing more than let out a strained whimper. Even that almost proved impossible.

Slowly the construction noises faded and everything that happened in the last hour came back to her. Ciela blinked up at Deadpool slowly noticing that there was blood dripping from a hole in his chest There was a part of her that ached because of his pain and there was another part, a twisted one, that made her want to poke at the hole. Because of that she reacted rather badly reaching up and pushing him back quickly.

“These are my only damn clothes!” She yelled at him, but then realized that it was probably ruined because of her brains.

_‘You could run around naked!’_

“No.” Ciela glared.

Deadpool didn’t say anything more as he quickly pulled her up. He could hear the sirens getting louder and with the way the boy at the counter fainted he thought it might be time to run. After all, he seemed to be a good one for all the death going on here. Ciela pushed away his grasp and tried to walk away from him but her legs quickly gave in.

“So it’s your first time having your brains blown out.” Deadpool commented as he scooped her up bridal style.

_‘Look we’re a knight saving the damsel!’_

**‘Usually the knights are handsome and the damsels dumb.** ’

Ciela let out a laugh and settled down curling her body. She could smell the smoke around them and when she heard the snap she knew that they were now in his apartment. She coughed and waved at the air around her before pushing away from him so that she could get down. Deadpool, tired of her refusing her his help, just dropped her.

“Oops.” He snickered before walking over to his chair and plopping himself onto it. He then pulled the remote from between the cushions

“Click!” He turned on the T.V, now ignoring Ciela.

Ciela sat on the floor looking around once again. The apartment seemed to still be how she left it, so she couldn’t have been dead for that long right? She could feel a sharp ache starting in the right side of her head and spread out slowly. It felt as though someone were using her nerves as the strings for a harp.

“Ohgod.” She groaned and stood up stumbling towards the bathroom.

_‘I think she may have seen our face!’_ She could hear screwball yell.

Plain ignoring anyone else, even the dog, who seemed to think now was the best time to start barking after he had been silent all day. She found the bathroom and then the toilet losing what ever she had in it.

“Next time close the door! That’s nasty!”

Ciela let out a long groan and sat on the floor next to the bath. She had flushed the toilet already and wasn’t sure if she would need to use it again. She brought her knees to her chest slowly.

“I hate you.” She finally yelled back to Deadpool.

Deadpool said nothing, just waved his hand back as if to say she wasn’t the only one. Ciela didn’t see it though, she was too busy with her head in the john.

 

After about an hour, she found herself pushing herself up from the floor shakily a hand covering her eyes. Finally her headache had hit full blown and she thought she might die, again. She stumbled through the bathroom door, eyes still covered, walking towards the couch to lay down. As soon as her head the arm rest she felt Wade’s covered eyes on her. She tried her best to ignore him but it felt as though he might burn a hole through her head and she didn’t want a second hole in one day.

“What.” Ciela growled not bothering to turn over just yet.

“If you’re going to be mean I won’t tell you.” He harumphed and crossed his arms in a childish manner.

Ciela closed her eyes slowly and turned over to look at him completely. She pushed herself up into a sitting position.

**‘Now you’ve done it.’**

“Wade.” She didn’t bother hiding the fact that she used his real name. “I just got shot through the skull. Unlike you, who has had more bullets go through him than a practice target, I am not used to this. So I am cranky.”

Deadpool blinked, almost visible through his mask, and shrugged. “I was just thinking you never cooked me that meal. I mean I know you were shot, but a promise is a promise.”

Ciela just stared for a moment eyes wide. “What… Just order a pizza.”

“I am neither a turtle nor a ninja.”

_‘Yeah! Turtles have shells!’_

**‘And ninjas can be quiet.’**

Ciela actually let out a growl as she sat there staring at this mad man. “Order a damn pizza before I go get a gun and shoot you. Then make you order a damn pizza.”

Deadpool brought his hands up quickly, although he wasn’t truly afraid, and reached for the phone. He dialed making beeping noises as he did so. Ciela watched him stand and walk into the kitchen as if he couldn’t stand to be still while on the phone. With a loud sigh she rubbed her face, leaning back against the couch. She knew now that she had to find a way home.

“I ordered pizzas!” He announced as he walked back into the room his arms in the air.

Ciela sat up quickly causing a wave of nausea crash over her. Focusing rather hard she avoided another trip to the bathroom. She looked back up to the merc who still had his arms in the air.

“Put them down or I rip them off.” She grumbled before curling up on the couch.

**‘I like her.’**

 

 


	5. Greasy Discoveries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pizza, knives, and laughs. What more could you ask for?

Wanting to actually be able to eat  Ciela spent the next thirty minutes asleep, her head buried in the couch that still faintly smelled of mildew. Thankfully it wasn’t overpowering because of the amount of febreeze she had sprayed earlier. The lavender made it easy not only to relax but actually sleep. It was only when she felt a small prodding. She let out a growl and curled her body further not wanting to wake up just yet. She had been dreaming of her home and everything she was missing because being here. Another prod made her growl more and sit up looking up at Deadpool.

“Lala!” Deadpool yelled and held up the pizza boxes as a peace offering.

“I would have shot you if you didn’t have pizza.”  Ciela growled as she sat up slowly.

When Deadpool deemed it safe he stepped forward and placed the pizza on the table between them. Ciela opened the box and took a piece out to start eat.

_'So does you dying mean you are like us? Can you heal as fast as us?'_

"I don't know there  Screwie." Ciela munched her piece slowly.

"Let's see!" Deadpool yelled and put a knife out slamming it into her leg quickly causing her to let out a cry of pain.

Ciela quickly grabbed the knife and stabbed it into his shoulder. He let out a laugh and picked up a piece pizza to start eating. A look came to Ciela’s face and she continued to eat. She didn’t like the way the knife moved as he used his arm.

“I forget you are not quite…” She trailed off leaving it to whatever he may think up.

**“Cancer does that to your mind.”**

“I guess that’s right Owl.”

“Why do you get to name my voices! I’ve had them on and off for years! You’ve only known them for two days!” Deadpool stood up quickly.

Ciela looked up at him with a look that said I’ll kill you. She went back to eating her slice slowly, taking the time to pull off the pepperonis eating them individually. She thought about the fact that this pizza was rather terrible only highlighted by the flavor of the meat. She considered telling Wade to get something else, but knew that would be rather rude.

“Fine then, you name them.” She quirked her eyebrow at him.

“Nah, I don’t think the writer could come up with anything better than that.” Deadpool made a shrugging gesture causing the knife to bob and blood to dribble out.

A cringe made her place her pizza down and get up. She made another face as if she might open her mouth to say something but decided against it. She walked into the kitchen and got a glass for water. She wanted to take a minute to get away from the sight, but it followed her into the kitchen.

_“You know, if this makes you squeamish you’re in trouble.”_

“Uh.” She gave him a look and took a long drink. “Right, I don’t plan on staying, as soon as I find a way I’m going home. I’m still not convinced this is just a very intense dream.

She was lying a bit, but she wanted to make it very clear she wasn’t about to stay here. Deadpool grabbed the knife out his shoulder and stabbed it into her arm. Ciela cried out and pushed him away before grabbing the knife once more.

“Well it hurt so you’re not dreaming.” Deadpool announced.

Ciela let out a growl and looked at the knife in her hand. “Damn it you nutcase! That hurts! The other wound still hasn’t healed either!”

Deadpool stroked his chin slowly  as if thinking about what this might mean. “You heal slow.”

“I just don’t heal super fast like you.” She would growl before throwing the knife in the sink.

There was a long moment of silence as she stormed into the next room with a loud sigh. Even though she had only been there for two days, she was starting to get very worried that these two days were the beginning of an endless life time. She would sit on the couch again, leaning back into the cushions.

“Surely… I will get home right?” She was talking to herself.

As much as she liked reading all his comics and playing the game she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of living in this world, much less with him. She knew how he could behave, how it was so easy for him to be reckless. She glanced towards the pizza and picked up another piece. She finished it off quickly just so there was something on her stomach.

“Hey Lala. You know how you cleaned the house? Would you do it again? You got blood on the floor!” She heard from the next room.

“I am /not/ your maid.”

_“Then why are you here?”_

“I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” There was a sigh in her voice.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. It's a bit short, but I'm trying to transition it so it isn't just Lala and Deadpool. I wanted to bring in lil' Petey, and maybe Doc Strange as a way of progressing. Hopefully it will be much better from here on out. I am loving your support and I know it is slow going, but I am trying. Work can be a block.


	6. You Mean Like Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool needs help, Ciela needs clothes. They come to an agreement.

It had been at least a week since their talk about her healing powers. Deadpool seemed to think that they were only so much slower because she had just gotten there. Ciela had commented that she didn’t want to stay around long enough for them to be faster. If Ciela didn’t know better she would have thought that this upset Deadpool because after that he just disappeared, but she didn’t bother with it. Over the week Ciela spent most of her time using his rather slow computer to look up anything she could on what had happened to her. It occurred to her that there maybe a person who would be able to help her. After all if Deadpool was here then other Marvel characters might be here.

“Doctor Strange…” Ciela was wearing a shirt that seemed to be old and torn up as if it hadn’t been worn in a long while.

“Oh that weirdo?” Deadpool had poofed into the room, filling it with the awful sulfur smell.

Ciela coughed rather hard waving her hand infront of her face. She looked back to see Wade standing behind her wearing his mask, a ratty t-shirt and a pair of swimming trunks. She didn’t question the trunks, but the mask. She made a face and stood up turning to look at him.

“You do realize, I know what you look like under the mask right. I’ve seen most versions, between Ryan Reynolds mistake to well the video games. Also the new movie that was coming out.” Ciela had herself kneeling on the chair so that she was a bit more even with him.

“They’re giving him a second chance?” Deadpool let out a sigh of despair, dodging she was implying.

With an eyeroll she turned around, a little hurt, though she had no idea why. After all he was just Deadpool and she was nothing of consequence. Shaking her head at the thought she went back to looking at the computer. Deadpool leaned over her shoulder and she suddenly felt nervous being so close to him. After all in one second he could be fine, and then suddenly he would stab her claiming her was checking her healing factor.

“Why are you looking up Doctor Strange?” If it hadn’t been for his mask she would feel his breath on her neck.

“I told you, I’m looking for a way to get to my home. It can’t stay here for… Well I suppose it would be for forever…” She trailed off as she thought about those implications.

“Pfft. Houdini there can’t help you.” He almost sounded as if he were upset, but he quickly moved away from her.

She heard the tv turn on and knew that he would be preoccupied for a while. That was until the phone began to ring. She could hear him pick it up, but she tried to ignore what was going on. It was her intention of staying out of the trouble that was close friends with Deadpool.

“Of course I want money.” Deadpool would speak into the phone. “A hit? No problem.”

There was muffled speaking on the other end, and Ciela found herself straining to listen to what was going on.

“Oh that’s a big problem, you see I don’t have female bi-” Suddenly Deadpool was silent as if a thought had occurred to him. “Oh Lala~!”

“No. A million times no if you’re asking me for a favor.” She called back but she could hear him agreeing to the job. He would move into the room quickly and look down at her.

“But its a job only someone as talented as you could do.”

_‘Please! Otherwise we don’t get this high paying job!’_

Ciela rubbed her face and looked at him. She would sigh slowly still thinking about if she was okay with the idea of getting involved with another one of his crazy adventures.

‘To be fair our last “adventure” was yours.’

“Why do you have to be right…” She groaned. “Fine, but on one condition. I get some clothes.”

Not wanting to risk the chance of losing the yes, Deadpool nodded his head. What he didn’t tell her was she was going to have to play a sexy high class woman, of course this would be the easiest way for them to get in after all.

“So what do I have to do?” She stood to look at him, her arms crossed underneath her breasts.

“Well, you’re going to kill a rich man. His wife is looking to get him out of the way for the insurance money. Tired of him cheating on him too!”

The realization of what she would have to do sank in. There was a moment where she thought of objecting, but then she looked at the ratty clothes that were hand-me-downs from Wade. She rubbed her face slowly looking up at him.

“I hate you.”

_‘Aww! We love you too!’_

She shook her head and walked past him into the bathroom. “Welcome on then. I need to go buy something slutty.”

Deadpool was right behind her shaking his hands. “We have just the thing!”

“Why?”

“I like to feel pretty occasionally.”

This would just make her groan and shake her head at the merc. “I can’t take you seriously. When are we doing this?”

“Tonight?”

“Really…” She couldn’t get onto him for not giving him enough notice because he just got the call. “Well get out so I can shower and get ready, unless you want me to go like this.”

 **‘I’d be seduced.** ’ She heard as he walked out of the room, she didn’t want to hear Deadpool’s response.

 

Ciela took the quickest shower of her life before getting out to start doing her hair. She didn’t have very much to work with when it came to supplies, but she managed to curl her hair with a round brush and a lot of patience. She frowned out the bags under her eyes and the paleness to her skin.

With the towel wrapped around her, Ciela stepped out into the living room looking around for Deadpool. Not spotting him there she stepped into the bedroom to see Deadpool laying back on the bed in his suit once more. She stopped and leaned against the doorway watching him for a moment.

It was odd to her, when she was in the real world she had an idealized version of this man in her head, and because of it she had an infatuation. Now here she was, and she didn’t see that man. She saw what he really was and it made her push against him, made her want to leave.

“Hey… Wade. I need make-up or something.” She rubbed her arm slowly. “I don’t think I’ll win anyone over with these bag under my eyes.”

Deadpool looked up at her and frowned behind his mask. Without a word, a remark or anything else he disappeared. Ciela stared for a long moment confused to why he was acting this way, after all it was him who wanted her to seduce this man. Before she could think more on this he popped in behind her scaring her into dropping her towel.

“Haha! I knew it would work!” He cheered before grabbing the towel up so she couldn’t cover herself again. “You’re make-up is in the bathroom!”

He cheered before disappearing with the towel. Ciela, now a bit angry, marched into the bathroom her arm over her breasts. She went through the process of concealing the bags under her eyes and doing up her lips in a red that matched her fair complexion. She then lined her blue eyes, but did nothing else to them not wanting to over do it.

“Deadpool where is the dress?” She yelled from the bathroom not wanting to walk out.

Hearing no response she walked into the bedroom her arms hiding her breasts once more. She spotted the dress and her jaw dropped. The dress herself was a deep red and had a red silk strap that went around the back of her neck. She walked closer noting the seconds straps she assumed went around her shoulders. She ran her fingers over the material absolutely stunned. The first thing she noted that it didn’t even look like it was Deadpool’s size. She filed that away pulling it down to slip it up her body slowly.

Finally getting it up her body she stopped to adjust the straps, using the one around her neck to push her large bust together, making it seem like they were bigger. After all she was seducing the man.

“See I knew the dress would work.”

Ciela snapped around and looked at him surprised. She felt so different though, as if she were overdressed. She walked over to the large mirror on his closet and started adjusting more. Wade watched her for a moment wondering why she was fretting so much. He would have told her that she looked beautiful, but he felt that would just be used as a plot device so he did the next best thing.

“Welp, I have a boner.” He announced looking at her.

“How nice…” She gave him a look. “Well I’m ready to go kill someone. “

Deadpool walked up and wrapped her in a hug nearly choking her. “You mean like me?”

“Yes Deadpool, just like you.”

“They grow up so fast!” He sniffed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the dress mentioned in this chapter... Uh. I thought that this was a pretty good dress for Deadpool to "feel pretty" in. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e9/da/f8/e9daf8f5b9996f8383a71be9f35fed9c.jpg


	7. Poison Lips And Killer Hips.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little dance and grab ass never hurt anyone. Until now.   
> Guest Appearance: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

Ciela found herself at the large doorway of a beautiful mansion, her eyes staring up in awe. She had to admit, this man knew how to throw a party. She looked back to where she knew Deadpool was hiding in a tree. 

_ ‘Don't worry! We’ll be watching the whole time!’  _

She didn't know if that was exactly comforting. Taking a deep breath she began up the short set of stairs and started filing through with the rest of the people. It was an odd feeling, walking amongst people knowing that the only reason she was here to end someone's life. 

When she entered the ballroom she felt herself start to get nervous. She had no real idea of who this person was, but she had been assured by Deadpool that she would know when he was talking to her. 

_ ‘We’ll tell you!’  _ Screwball assured her. 

This frightened her, after all she could purely hear him in her head instead of being able to hear him through Wade. She had to push this fear down as she moved to the bar. She asked for a long island ice tea knowing that it wouldn’t do anything for her. Parties like this it would be suspicious if she were not drinking right now. 

“Well… I knew there would be beautiful women, but I didn’t think I would see a Goddess.” A smooth voice sounded next to her, making her laugh. 

Ciela immediately knew the man beside her simply from his voice. She turned to see the (in)famous Tony Stark smirking down at her. She bristled slightly before hearing one of Deadpool’s voice assure him he wasn’t the target. 

“I’m working Stark.” Was her cool response, lips wrapped around her straw. 

“So you know me?” 

Oh shit. She forgot that she was supposed to be a stranger. Thankfully he was one of the more flamboyant heros. Now if it had been, say Captain America, or worse Spiderman, she would have been screwed.  

“Who doesn’t? You don’t exactly like being discreet.” She could feel her voice tremble a bit. 

This made Tony furrow his brow, but he said nothing about it. She shifted slightly to look out into the crowd. After all she was on the job, and wasn’t to be flirting with anyone but the target. Even if it was Tony Stark. 

“Wait. Yo-”

“Tony~! Why don’t you introduce me to your beautiful friend here?” 

**‘That’s him.’**

_ ‘Get ready! He’s going to woo you!’  _

Knowing a cue when she heard one, she looked up at him from beneath her long lashes. This sudden change in attitude confused Tony. 

“My name’s Ciela.” She spoke in a soft breathy tone as she held out her hand for him in a limp manner.

Ensnared was the perfect word for what this man was. He was easy, no doubt, but she thought she would have to work a little harder. He took her hand and kissed this gently. Tony on the other hand was more than a little suspicious. 

“Tell me Ciela… Do you dance?” He asked with his lips still pressed to her hand. 

A giggle left her lips and she nodded her head placing her glass on the the bar. She then stepped closer to him. She could feel heat in her cheeks and she was glad for that, after all if she was going to pull this off she needed her body to work with her. 

“Only if you hold me close. I’m a little tipsy.” She leaned up to “whisper” that in his ear. 

The greying man led her onto the floor, they were playing a slow song so he pulled her in close to his body. His first hand held hers, the other resting on her hip, and slowly moving downwards. She knew that she would only have to endure this for a little so she tried to ignore it. Slowly they spun around, dancing to a song she wasn’t really listening to. As the song ended, she felt his hand find it’s place and squeeze greedily. She would let out a gasp and teasingly slap at his chest. 

“Shouldn’t we go somewhere private for that?” She giggled again. 

“I do have a room.” 

Ceila bit her bottom lip as if uncertain, looking up at him slowly. She knew this would seal it, what man didn’t like to feel like he was swooping in on prey. He caught the look on her face and dipped down to ghost hips lips against her neck, taking in her scent. 

“It is very private…” He breathed on her neck.

It made Ceila shiver, but not in the way she wish it would have been. Slowly she nodded her head looking up to him. With that nod he grabbed her wrist. 

_ ‘Don’t worry! We won’t lose visual!’  _

That didn’t reassure her. 

Quickly he dragged her through the crowd, but she followed with a bit of ease. He brought her to a hallway and pressed her to the wall just inside of it. She lit out a noise of surprise and looked up at him. He looked down into her eyes, leaning down kissing her neck gently. His kiss was hot and greedy. As if it was just so he could taste her flesh. It made her skin crawl but she managed a soft needy sigh. He took this as his cue and pulled her further down that hallway and up a set of stairs. The first door on the right he threw her in before looking around. She stumbled in and gasped trying to gather her composure.

While he was distracted she put a capsule into her mouth and turned to face him, adjusting her dress so it showed more of her breasts. The sound he made when he turned around once again made her skin crawl. She used one finger to beckon him toward her before pressing to him and kissing him hard. With a (well) practiced motion she broke the capsule against her teeth before opening her mouth to him. He was beginning to enjoy her, until an odd taste entered her mouth. He knew immediately what was happening. 

“You bitch!” He threw her off with a slap and she stumbled backwards. 

**‘Don’t panic.’**

Right, they had a back up plan. She looked up at him as if she were stunned by his words, her hand slipping down her hip grasping the throwing knife there. He was getting closer and closer to her as she sat there. 

“Tell my damn wife that if she thinks she can get rid of me she can drop dead!” He had grabbed her by the hair and this was her chance. 

Quickly she flicked her wrist and buried the knife in his side. He yelled again and threw her down. She knew it would take a minute or two for it to kick in so she did what she thought was for the best. She kick off her heels grabbing them as she moved to stand. 

_ ‘Good girl! Now jump. And remember the pain is great!’ _

As much as she hated to admit it. He was right about one thing, she needed to jump. Quickly she ran past the struggling man and leapt out the window using her arms to shield her. 

Ceila had never bungee jumped, parachuted or anything like that in her life, so nothing had prepared her for the free fall from the third story floor. It was interesting to say the least. More extreme than a rollercoaster, but had nothing on dying. It was short lived though because she soon hit the ground with a sickening crack, her leg, and was moving to get up. Her leg screamed with pain and she say spots on her vision. She limped forward, but was soon stopped by the feel of strong arms covered in leather scooping her up. 

Heat enveloped them and she was soon back in the apartment as if the whole thing hadn’t happened. The only evidence was her broken leg. 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Tony hadn’t been so convinced about this girl so he had J.A.R.V.I.S run a report on her. 

“Sir. It seems that this woman doesn’t exist.”

“J, that’s impossible. I saw her, I could smell her. She was there.” Tony yelled at him, shaking his head.

“I ensure you that I used S.H.I.E.L.D’s database, sir. Unless you think you didn’t infiltrate them.” 

“Shut. Up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I haven't had internet so this had been hard to update. Haha.


	8. Kiss Me You Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a fluffy exchange between the two. Some decisions reached.

To say that feeling your bones knit together slowly was an odd experience was an understatement. Ceila didn’t know how else to explain it other than it was like when a kid presses two chunks of play-doh together until it just sticks. It's not quite painful but it is nowhere near pleasant. She lay on Wade’s bed, eyes pressed closed and brow knitted together. 

 

_ ‘Yeah. Sometimes it's just better to cut them off and let them regrow. We can do that for you!’ _

 

**‘That's pointless.’**

 

Ceila had learned to appreciate the bold voices wisdom. As she lay there she wished her legs would just hurry the hell up. She knew her healing had improved but it was still too slow. It had occurred to her that if she didn’t start focusing she might be there long enough for her to develop quick healing. 

 

In the next room she could hear Wade clanging around for something in the kitchen. She heard a noise of victory and she laughed a bit. He was always making something to eat, but never really gained any weight from it. She assumed it was because of a quick metabolism.  

 

“Your healing makes our powers seem lame.” Wade complained from the other room. 

 

“I can't believe I let you talk me into this.” She yelled, though purely because this was frustrating. 

 

Wade peeked in and blinked. He had on shorts and a ratty t-shirt with his face still covered. “I couldn't either.” 

 

“You’re so helpful.” She growled, once again in frustration.

 

Wade didn’t take offense to it, he simply flopped onto the bed next to her, pulling her legs, rather gently, over his lap. Ceila looked up at him as if he had grown a second head, and a third box. She opened her mouth to say something but he promptly turned on the tv she had forced him to move into the bedroom for her while she healed. 

 

“ **BREAKING NEWS!! BILLIONAIRE TONY STARK HAS GONE MISSING!!”**

 

“What… He was just at that big party…” Ceila looked up at him with her brow furrowed. 

 

“I know it’s like he was pulled out of this story to be used somewhere else.” He blinked as if it were not truly a surprise to him. 

 

“I hate when you say things like that it makes no sense at all.”

 

“Its because you don’t know the writer very well just yet.” He commented, poking her leg occasionally as if watching her flinch was funny. 

 

Lala would simply slap his hand and focus on the tv once more. “Huh. There is no evidence for any of this… They have no clue.” 

 

**‘Maybe you should talk to Doctor Strange.’**

 

There was a silence that fell on the room. She could see his jaw click and felt like there had been a nerve hit. Silently he place a hand on her leg as if saying that there was no getting around this. She looked up at him and bit her bottom lip. 

 

“I… have been trying to figure out how I got here.” She looked down at his hand. 

 

There was an urge to trace the scars along his hand, but she knew that would simply upset him. She instead put her hand on top of his. Wade looked down at it as if he could hardly believe another person would touch him. 

 

“You’re trying to go home.” It wasn’t a question at this point. 

 

“I have a life there Wade. You know, where I don’t share crazy with people and where if I fell from a window I would either die or be in a hospital. And less gunfire for me.”

 

“Sounds boring.” 

 

“I’m sure it does to you.” 

 

There was a silence. The heaviness of the air reminded her of a couple’s fight. Like the last one right before they decide if it’s even worth staying together. The answer was usually no, and for her, even though they weren’t a couple, she felt as though this would be the answer. 

 

_ ‘Maybe we should just keep you tied up!’  _

 

This made Lala laugh in a half hearted manner. “Now come on. Then you wouldn’t be able to use me for mercenary work.” 

 

Wade looked over at her surprised. But Lala held up her hand as if to say let her speak. She reached up and gently stroked his cheek through the mask. This was a barrier she was having trouble getting past with him. 

 

“I’ll make you a deal. I will work with you whenever you need.” She paused. “But, you have to promise me you’ll help me at least try to get home.” 

 

**‘That seems fair.’**

 

_ ‘We could sabotage it too…’ _

 

“Hey... “ She sighed and focused solely on Wade. “Listen. I won’t lie. I feel something. I think you do to. But I can’t stay because there might me a slim chance, that it is possible for us to have something together. But that being said.. I’m going to make the best of time we have left.” 

 

Wade stared at her again as if she was the one who grew a new head and a new box. “So this means…?” 

 

Lala slapped her forehead with a sigh. “Just kiss me you damn idiot!”

 

Wade laughed and pulled his mask up before pulling her close. The kiss was gentle and meaningful. Lala melted into it, her arms wrapping around his shoulders best she could with her legs still broken. They pulled apart and couldn’t help but laugh at each other. 

 

Once they quieted down Ceila relaxed backwards slightly listening to the tv as she rested. It occurred to her that if they got too close she would have a big decision to make when she figured out a way home. Of course right now she thought it would be easy. Go home. Home to her own tidy apartment, and her job. Go home where there was no one trying to kill her. 

 

And who knew. Maybe there was a Wade Wilson in her universe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know, two in one day after a few months between, but I really have been without internet since December. Then I meant to post the last chapter about two weeks about and I forgot to hit post... So oops. But I really appreciate those of you who are still reading.


	9. Results of Anger And Sadly A Hiatus

So. I am sorry to say but I have to go on a weird sort of hiatus thing. I broke my pinkie punching a wall. I had surgery on it and it is healing nicely but I have to wear this weird brace thing that makes it extremely difficult to type. So I am working on these stories, but very slowly because I can only type for a short times and in a restricted manner. So I will update, but it will take a moment.


	10. An Obsession of Strange Proportions

When Lala’s legs finally healed they hit a roll. One job after another, all melding together never allowing her time to research Doctor Strange and how she had ended up in this world. It would be a month before they would even slow down a little bit. At that point, Ceila was demanding that they relax, or at least stop to work on her getting home. 

That had been about a week ago, and she had heard nothing from Wade since. Stuck in the apartment, for the most part, Ceila did a lot of research. She had gone through every article she could find on alternate universes and travel between. Most of what she found was speculation. The bit of it that was informative gave no concrete solutions or leads to find them. 

A lot of the research had been headed by Reed Richards, whom she had tried to contact, with little to no luck. This was no surprise to Ceila because he was a busy man and what not. She wasn’t sure how she should search for Doctor Strange, after all, she knew that he lived in New York and the name of his home, Sanctum Sanctorum, but otherwise was lacking the right information. 

With a loud band and a crash Deadpool came stumbling into the bedroom, body riddled with bullet holes. Lala jumped up from the computer where she had been deep in reading. She rushed over to him a mixture of relief and anger. 

“Where have you been you, moron?! I have been so worried.” She shook him a bit and he groaned pushing her hand off of him. 

“The writer broke her pinkie. There was a big problem with it.”  
“What are you even saying. Did you disappear because of me?” She would go to fetch him a different suit so she could throw the other away. 

Deadpool would let out a sigh at her, and begin to strip. “Not everything is about you! Gosh!”

Lala sighed looking up at him slowly as if unsure what to say to the maniac before her. “Right, not about me.” She agreed before sitting down before the computer once more. She began typing slowly trying to think of anything that might help her home. 

“Are you still on about that?” He sighs at her as he pulls on the mask moving to look over her shoulder. “Doctor Strange…. Doctor Strange. Where have I heard that na-”

A window crash was the only thing that stopped him from rambling on. They both snapped around to see a red and blue suited man laying on the floor of their bedroom. He groaned and turned over propping himself up on his elbows. He glanced over at the couple eyeing Lala for a moment longer. 

“Spidey~!” Wade gushed and ran over to where the younger man was laying on the floor. 

Lala immediately knew who he was but contained herself slightly. She pulled herself up from the chair and walked over to the fallen hero. She pushed Wade’s side so she could examine him. Carefully she pushed his chin side to side making sure he knew that she wasn’t going to take off his mask. This didn’t stop him from flinching and grabbing her wrist. 

“I’m just checking to make sure you aren’t bleeding from your head.” She soothed him before gesturing for him to stand up. 

When he stood she looked him over slowly, feeling Deadpool’s eyes drilling into her as she did so. She had to wonder if it was jealousy over her or Spiderman. After all, it was rather obvious how he felt about the spandex clad man. She backed away slowly giving him a nod. 

“What brings you to my part of town?” Wade asked once again chipper. 

Ciela immediately felt her jealously spike, it was about her looking at him. She tried to hide it as she walked back to the computer to finish looking for information. She could feel Spiderman’s eyes on her but she said nothing. 

“Oh well, you know. Just thought I would crash the party.” He paused once again looking over at Lala as if confused that she was even there. “I didn’t know you had a girl Deadpool. I didn’t think you could handle social interaction.”  
“Ouch! You wound me web-head.” He clutched at his heart as if he had been truly hurt. 

“I’m not his girl.” Lala chimed in, not sure why it was so important that it was known. 

A silence came over the room as if the words she had spoken were a terrible truth. It shifted into something that much more uncomfortable. Lala sighed and turned to look at the two men. 

“Not that it really matters. Listen, uh Spidey. I was kinda hoping that you could help me out. I mean… I’m not from here. I am from another dimension and I sound so damn crazy.” Her eyes closed for a minute before she just turned to the computer again. 

The silence fell again and she heard the approach of footsteps behind her. “You’re looking for Doctor Strange… How did you know…”

Deadpool sprung over to the pair. “The world she comes from we are in comic books and we even have people writing fanfiction about us, like this story here.”

“Sometimes you have to ignore half of what he says to get to the truth. But yes. Comic books in my world are about you guys, and Tony Stark, Captain America, Thor, Vision.” Lala nodded her head to him. 

“So you want to know if Doctor Strange can help you.” 

“I figured since this sort of thing is right up his alley he might know more about this situation. Like why this is going on in the first place.” Lala looks up at him with a sigh. 

Spiderman seemed to cringe for a moment as if unsure to tell her. “Listen I can try to help you, but I make no promises. After all, he is a hard man to get ahold of.” 

Lala turned to look into Spidey’s face when something came crashing through the other window. It spotted Spidey and went for the attack. He quickly maneuvered himself onto the ceiling, webbing it so it would stall. It hindered the machine for a moment before it a blade cut it free and it launched at Lala picking her up.

Deadpool looked up in surprise. “Lala!” 

“Gun!” She tried yelling to him, her hands stretched out in a grabbing manner. The machine began to fly away, not giving her very much time to catch the weapon. In fact, it falls to the ground with a thunk. 

Deadpool turned on Spidey. “Your fault. We’re getting her back!” He growled as he gathered his weapons up once more. 

“I thought she wasn’t your girl.” 

 

Lala, dizzy from being carried high through the air, pinched her eyes closed tight. She tried to think through the dizziness but was finding it increasingly harder. “I can’t just have a normal experience around here can I?” She grumbled and tried to struggle, but feeling the slice of the metal appendage across her side. “I’m good… That… That hurt.” She huffed slightly. 

Opening her eyes once more she saw a row of old factory buildings. This must mean they were near a  body of water of some kind. She could work with that. Run as soon as they released her. At least that was the hope. She knew that she could swim for long enough to form a real plan if she could just get out of their grasp. 

They descended going through an old factory window, they dropped her into a pile of old dusty clothes. She coughed and stood up quickly running towards the door, though it had a bar across it. She made it, hands wrapping around the bar as she tried to pull the bar up so she might get out. It was too heavy and she had to give up on that.

“This is not what I was expecting.” A voice came from the shadows as a man, held up by four mechanical arms, came forward. “Though it will do. Spiderman is not one to let the innocent die.”

“Doctor Otto Octavius. Nice to meet you, but I’m no good to you. I mean c’mon.” She gestured to herself as if she were nothing. With no weapons, she could only fight, and while she had been training, she wasn’t that strong yet. She turned to face him, keeping a special eye on him. 

“I doubt that I’m sure someone is coming for you. And you will stay here until they come calling.” He gestured and one of the bots rushed forwards. Lala launched herself to the left, tumbling away in time to jump up. She flipped her body around slamming the bot into the ground before bounding off to cling to the wall as she flipped to take down another. Her leg was caught by a different bot, it’s claw stinging her skin. 

“Talented… It seems like someone has been training you. And you say no one is coming for you.” The metal arms wrapped around her, setting her upright. 

 


	11. Never Was A Fan OF Calamari

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Otto Octavius just had to ruin the party. Not that Lala was having a good time.

Lala was sure that Doc Ock was expecting Spider-man to come in and save her at any moment, but she knew for a fact that he wasn’t exactly sure where the bot had taken her. In fact, she would be lucky if she wasn’t stranded here. 

“I hate to burst your bubble there, but I don’t think Spidey is going to find me,” Lala called out to him as she tried to wiggle her arms free. She knew that if she could just get herself out of this bot she would have a chance. 

“Do not underestimate him.” He paced now, the sound of his arms moving causing a hiss in the air. 

“Oh right.” She furrowed her brow at this.

Doctor Octopus moved through the building grabbing things as he did. He seemed to be building a device, though what for she wasn’t too sure. She wasn’t a genius like he was, which was almost intimidating.  _ Almost.  _

As he turned Lala swung her legs up to pull the on the bot. She felt it budge slightly, but she didn’t think she could get it all the way off, so she dropped her legs again to think. She watched him move again trying to find anything that might help her. 

As she thought about the situation she was in she realized that she had a few options. She could try to teleport away, but that was a talent she had yet to master and she was half afraid it would rip off her arms and she didn’t want to grow a new pair. The other option was slightly risky and called for her being an ass. Which she had, of course, learned from the best. 

“It’s cute how you keep trying even though Spidey has beaten you so many times,” Lala spoke up, keeping an eye on him as she struggled. 

The scientist didn’t spare her a glance, but she could see the way his shoulders tensed. She had hit a nerve, good that was what she needed. 

“You would think it would be so easy for a genius like you to just stop him, but he thwarts your every move.” She continued humming in a cheery manner. “It’s because you’re so predictable. How many times have you kidnapped people and taken them to warehouses? A lot right?” 

She could see the way the metal arms moved now, a tick of agitation. She was getting to the man with a bowl cut. He was trying to ignore her words, but it wasn’t working. After all, she knew just what to say. What he didn’t know was that she had learned enough about him in her world to hopefully push buttons.

“Oh and then there was your mother, and oh it was Mary wasn’t it.”

“Shut up!” A scream left his lips as he picked up a girder and hurled it at her. 

She pulled her head down, not wanting to lose it, and let it destroy the bot clinging to her arms. She pulled her arms down quickly, she could feel some broken fingers, but those would figure themselves out. The first thing to do was land safely. After all, if she broke her legs  _ again  _ it would be humiliating. With focus, she imagined landing on the ground and felt a heat around her body as smoke filled her vision. Suddenly she was on the ground in one place, though her legs were a little shaky. 

“Well while this has been great!” Lala bowed to him before going to run for the doors. 

“Not so fast!” He sent bots after her. 

Lala turned to see them flying at her, quickly she ran toward them, dropping her body to her knees so she could slide beneath them. One managed to restabilize, but the other went toppling into the wall, crashing into a pile of junk. Not taking a moment Lala focused her attention on Doctor Octavius. Clenching her hands, bones already reset and working, she ran towards him focusing on launching herself into the air. 

The heat filled her again and the smoke blocked her vision as she suddenly felt the shift of her weight. She was in the air, but it wouldn’t last long. Metal arms swung towards her now and she pushed off of them to strike Doc Ock in the face. He stumbled back enough to be stunned as she dodged the flailing limbs and ran towards the door once more. She didn’t want to fight, she wanted to leave. 

As she burst out the door, she saw two men clad in red running towards her. She let out a noise of frustration and continued running towards them. Why were they running so late, and why wasn’t Spidey using his web slingers?

“Lala!!” Deadpool screeched running forward to embrace her. 

“You’re late. I had to break my hands to get free.” She huffed at him. 

“Sorry, the writer wanted to show that you could do things like this on your own.” 

“I hate when you say shit like that…” She grumbled before turning to Spider-Man. “Doc Ock is still in there, he is building something, I’m not sure what…” 

“Right. Leave it to me!” He called as took off. 

Deadpool watched him go before turning back to Lala, inspecting her hands. Noting they healed pretty quickly, and thankfully not crooked he dropped them quickly. She sighed at him slightly beginning to walk away from the building. 

“What don’t want to stay for the big fight?” He questioned her. 

“Not really. I kinda just want to go home and shower. The smell of sulfur is stuck to me.” She sighed loudly at him as if that would drive her point home. 

“That’s a long walk home.”

“Didn’t you grab money for a cab?” She pinned him with a look of exasperation. 

“In my other suit.” He glanced at her. “You?” 

“I’m in night shorts and a large t-shirt..” 

“Why do I always have to pay?” He huffed changing the subject. 

Ciela shook her head at him and started down the street again, trying to get home as quickly as possible. Deadpool quickly joined her as she walked, not wanting to leave her alone. After all, he did let her get kidnapped once today, he couldn’t let anything else happen to her. 

“What about that cabbie you always pay in high fives?”

“You’re crossing mediums here. He was only in the movie… Plus he is in jail.” 

“Right… What about teleportation?”

“I only have that sometimes.” 

Lala sighed again and looked over at him as if stunned. “Then why do I have it?” 

“Plot convenience.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so short. I will post soon I promise and it will be much better and longer. Tell me what you think if you will.


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